Ten on Tuesday

1.) Only 12 weeks until my vacation! It sure needs to hurry up already, although the thought of my showing off my VERY white body while wearing a bikini is a little scary. (and I say 12 weeks like it's right around the corner, even though it's definitely not.)

2.) I just picked up Pearl Jam's re-issue of their first album Ten, which instantly brought me back to 9th grade and my love of all things grunge. I recall desperately wanting to relocate to a high school in Seattle.

3.) Speaking of Pearl Jam, I heard a little rumor that they are going to be playing Austin City Limits, along with Dave Matthews and the Beastie Boys. This is right up me and Mike's music alley, so I'm checking on the details. I think airfare would have to come down --A LOT-- for us to even seriously consider going. Darn it.

4.) My cell phone contract is up in April, so I am checking out new phones. I saw the Blackberry Curve, and I like it, but am having a hard time deciding if I really NEED it. It would be cheaper for me to get just a basic phone, but the Blackberry can do so many other things (I think). Still pondering....

5.) You have to watch this video on Kelly's blog called Laminin. It gave me goosebumps.

6.) Things are a little better at work. Our DM stopped in the other day, and talked to me about everything that has been going on. He reassured me that my job is not in jeopardy, but I still feel anxious about going to work everyday.

7.) Cheryl---this one's for you! I have been loving my new Scentsy warmer. I turn it on when I get home from work, I have it on before I go to work. I should have ordered some other scents, because now I want to try them all! Beach and Skinny Dippin' smell so summery...

8.) There must be something in the water. Within the last 2 months or so, 3 girls at work have announced they are pregnant. Crazy. I am super happy for them. Truly, I am, but it still stings a little. I know, I know...someday it will be my turn.

9.) Even though the temps haven't exactly been warm, I have worn open toed shoes to work more than once. I can't wait for warm weather. My flip-flops are calling to me.

10.) Looking forward to having this weekend off!

JOB

"But if it were I, I would appeal to God;
I would lay my cause before him.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
miracles that cannot be counted." JOB 5: 8-9

These are the words I couldn't get off my mind last night. They remind me that no matter how huge or how small, my problems matter to God. I know without a doubt that He hears me. That doesn't mean that he is going to answer every prayer I send heavenward, but I get great comfort in knowing that I am heard. I draw strength that God knows what I need even before I do.

The Roller Coaster Ride Continues

Up and then down. Up and then down. I can't seem to get off this ride. Every fiber of my being is screaming for me to get off. But I can't.

The roller coaster ride is my job right now. One day things are ok, the next I am crying in my car on the way home. I'm sorry. I wish I could get into details, but I can't. I am a mess. I keep wondering why crappy things happen to good people. I know that something good is going to come of all of this, but I have no idea what that could be. Nothing is making sense. I keep praying, hoping that God will pull me out of this. Until then, I guess I'll just be HIS mess.

Come On Spring

I am so ready for Spring, I can't even begin to tell you! It looks gorgeous outside, even though my dead grass would say otherwise. I need the warm weather. I need to know that the crazy winter weather is behind us. I can't wait for flip-flops, grilling, flowers growing, driving with my window down, not wearing a jacket, thunderstorms, and being closer to our Jamaica trip!

The art of breathing

I feel like I've been in a blogging slump lately. Probably because I have been too busy walking around and holding my breath. Ok, not literally holding my breath, but it's like I have been waiting to see what happens. With everything. What's going to happen with my job? Is the weather going to stay gorgeous or are we back to shoveling snow? Is this going to be the month I find out we're going to have a baby?

I know that I am where I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be in this season of waiting, but instead of holding my breath, I need to be breathing in and out. I need to practice the art of breathing. Because, believe it or not, God does not want me to be holding my breath while waiting. He wants me to take deep breaths of Him and His promise to me. He wants me to remember "For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."

I am completely relying on that promise. It is what is getting me through this season of my life. That and good friends!!

A little treat for myself

Every year, my mom and I have to go to the annual Women's Expo in downtown GR. Usually they have booths set up for different retailers, doctors offices, home and garden, etc. Well, this was the first year my cousin Julie had her jewelry at the Expo, and of course, I had to stop by. And of course, I ended up making a few purchases! Here's what I got today!

This bracelet is amazingly light and perfect for everyday.

Aren't these cute? They reminded me of summer!

I had to have these too. They'll look great with anything!

If you are in the mood for some new jewelry, you can visit HERMOSA STERLING.

The Shack

It's been raining here all day, and I couldn't think of a better time to curl up with The Shack and finally finish it. I bought it a couple of weeks ago, and have been reading it in portions since then. For me, it was a pretty intense book, and was a lot to take in all at once. Usually, I can plow right through a book, but this one was hard for me to read straight through. Even now, I am not sure I have comprehended much of the conversations that occured in the book. I think I may give it a second read to let the words twirl around in my head and see if I can wrap my mind around the concepts that are presented. It's not too often that a work of fiction makes me question things in my own life, but The Shack was that kind of book for me. Maybe it will be for you....

The unknown

I have a fear of the unknown. Not all the time. I don't generally worry about the world coming to an end, or anything like that. No, I worry about stuff that is stressing me out now, and I fear that it might not turn out the way I want it to.

I have a lot of job stress right now. A LOT. There is a huge issue at work, and I am worried that I may lose my job. That scares me. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, losing my job is small, but it sure feels big to me. Now, no one has said to me that I may lose my job, but it is definitely something that I feel. There is so much tension at work that you can feel it when you walk into the building. And it's giving me an ulcer of epic porportions.

I know that I need to just worry about today, and take one day at a time. It's hard not to think about tomorrow, though. I have been doing a lot of praying, and would so appreciate it if you could say some prayers for me regarding all of this. I need all the help I can get!

Going away

Why do I have a picture of a passport on this post, you ask? Because...Mike and I are going to Jamaica!!! (and I have taken the most awesome passport picture--NOT REALLY.)

We made the decision last week after a lot of discussion. Originally, we decided that we weren't going to go, but we both felt kind of bummed out about it.Mike really wanted to see his friend get married and we both really need a vacation right now, especially me. My job is extremely stressful at the moment, and I need something to take my mind off the stress. Not to mention that Mike and I are will be celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary around the same time of the Jamaica trip. Our honeymoon was the last vacation we took together, so this will be great for us to get away and spend some time relaxing on a beach together. And since we made our reservations, it's been nice to have something to look forward to and to think about other than obsessing about getting pregnant.

I really need a distraction in that department.

So Jamaica has also been my motivation for going back to the gym. Of course, I want to be healthier, but I really need to get this body in shape if I am going to be wearing a bikini! Yikes, that is a scary thought.

Especially when I can't stop eating these bad boys.

These are the most mouth watering cookies I have had in a long time. In fact, they were so unbelievable that I ate 5 on my way home from the grocery store. Darn you Pepperidge Farm!

The Bachelor

I can't believe I wasted 3 hours of my life last night watching The Bachelor. Even though I had read the spoilers, I had to watch to see if the spoilers were wrong. Yeah, they weren't.

I really liked Jason up until last night's show. My respect for him went right down the tubes. I understand that he felt like he made a mistake, but for crying out loud, he dumped his fiancee and was smooching on another girl all in the span of an hour?! What was he thinking? I have a feeling that things may not last FOREVER with Molly either. I think he may change his mind again.

Oh, the shows I get myself entangled in...

Still on the wagon

Today was day 2 of my back to the gym routine! Yes, I am still on the workout wagon, and have not yet fallen off. Thank goodness! Even though I was still slightly sore from the last workout, I knew I had to bite the bullet and get back into the swing of things. It wasn't as bad today as the first day. I know it's going to get easier as time goes on, and I can't wait for that.

And I've found a new delicious treat from Starbucks. Usually I go for the White Chocolate Mocha, but today I decided to try the Skinny Vanilla Latte. I'm hoping because it has the word skinny in the name that it must be "healthier" than my usual choice. Maybe I am just fooling myself, but it sure tasted awesome!