The sunshine was peeking around the edge of the shades in my otherwise dark bedroom this morning, and sadly, I did not welcome it. I was hoping for a dark and gloomy day. I really wanted a day that would reflect my mood. For the last two days, I have been feeling somber and well, reflective. And that darn sunshine was going to ruin my perfectly down mood!
Normally I would dispise the fact that I wasn't bouncing off the walls with happiness, but today was different. It sounds so crazy, but I wanted to spend the day being solemn and in prayer over the Passion of Jesus. I planned on watching the Passion of the Christ, and didn't want any kind of sunshine and light creeping in on my thoughts and prayers. I wanted to cry, I wanted to feel sad over the death of Jesus. I wanted to let the weight of it all cover me, because honestly, I don't often think about the sacrifice that was made for this world. For me. God's love can be a heavy and powerful thing when you actually stop to think about it. It's life changing.
Needless to say, the sunshine wouldn't let up. It's been a perfect and cloudless day. While I've kept my solemn mood, I know that the sun is going to keep on shining because God knows that I need to see the light even when I'm in the midst of darkness.