Monday, July 12, 2010

So Long Insecurity?

I think I need to pick up a copy of Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity and read it ASAP. In fact, I had it in my hands yesterday at Barnes and Noble and walked out of there empty handed.

Let me preface this by saying that I understand that just a month and half ago, I had 2 babies. Two good size babies. At once. I understand that that in itself is a miracle. I know better than anyone what it took for my body to carry those babies. And they are such a blessing.

With that being said, I feel like my body is a hot mess.

Sure, I have lost almost all of the baby weight. Yes, I can get into regular clothes again (well, almost. I'm working on the jeans.). However, my body without clothes on is pretty scary. My stomach is what is really bothering me. I can deal with the massive amount of stretch marks I have. What I am struggling with is the extra skin I have that just hangs there. I don't think that any amount of situps or crunches is going to fix that. And that scares me and makes me sad.

Again, I realize that it has only been a little over a month since I had the girls, and that I should cut myself some slack. I do most of the time. I also am aware that there are so many women out there who would love to be in my shoes. I know because I was one of those women. Before I was pregnant, I would find myself saying, "I don't care what I would look during and after pregnancy. I just want to be pregnant." The fact that I am beyond blessed is an understatement. I am so thankful for my girls. But I am also very human and am struggling with a very human issue.

I think that in time I will get used to this new body of mine and will feel more confident. I am simply not there yet.


rameelin said...

I just want to encourage you today! I had two babies 13 months apart. After Braden, I lost 70 pounds and although my stomach still had a 'little' extra skin, it was nothing compared to those first few weeks after having him. You have plenty of time & you WILL feel great again!

I tend to focus alot on my body and am fearful of how it will look after this pregnancy. I'm trying hard to keep a positive attitude but I do know how it all changes. In my case, alot of hard work did the trick & I have a friend who had twin girls a few years ago and has had a baby since, and you can't even tell. Just hang in there. You're beautiful && so are your babies!!! :)

How are they doing btw?

Shelby said...

I totally understand but then again I am in your same shoes! I have 9 lbs of baby weight to lose after gaining 60 with my twins. I am happy beyond belief that the weight has come off so easily BUT I have always had a flat tummy and now... Well you know! I really hope with excercise it will go away but who has time to excercise with 6 week old twins? Not me!!! :) I think we need to give it time. My Dr told me it can take a good 6 mos for the body to get back to where it was. I too am having issues with my jeans. I can barely get them over my hips and oooooh they are tight. Ugh! Hang in there girl! How are the girls doing? Max and Rylie are sleeping well at night. How bout yours? :)