Regret

I am filled with regret this morning.

I have realized that I am not being the wife that I should be.

I know that no marriage is perfect, but it used to be that we were so in sync with each other. Lately, it feels like we are OUT of sync with each other and it is driving me crazy!

As I have mentioned before, we've undergone a lot of changes in the past couple months. Mike took a second job and recently, I have also taken a part time job at a local credit union. So I get to spend more time with the babies which I am thrilled about, but also am able to get out of the house for a little while and interact with adults! Plus I feel like I get to contribute financially to this family, which is a big deal for me.

Anyway, I feel like we have no time for each other and both, at times, are simply exhausted. Mike works 2 jobs, and works hard to provide for this family. So I feel bad when I give him a hard time about little things, that in the heat of the moment, feel like big things to me. I start to think about all of the ways he is sacrificing for us, and I feel bad for arguing with him about things that we shouldn't even be arguing about. I let my temper and my stubborness take control of the situation rather than thinking it through and seeing his side. I always seem to do that. I run my mouth and feel sorry about it later.

So here I am, feeling regret for the way I treated Mike last night (or should I say in the middle of the night?). He left for work this morning and we barely spoke 2 words to each other. I feel terrible.

I know I need to tell him these things and apologize for what I said and how I acted, but even as an adult, saying sorry is so hard.