Forgive and Forget

I struggle with the concept of forgive and forget. I often replay past grievances in my mind over and over. I torture myself with the could have, should have, would haves. I think the reason I hold onto grudges is because I never say or do what I really want to when people are doing me wrong. I simply let the person have their way with me, and then stew about it later. Perhaps this is why my friend Andrea says I am passive (especially at work). The funny thing is, I have never thought of myself as passive. Reality check = I am.

So how do I move on? How do I forgive and forget? Even I were just to say the words, 'I forgive you (finally)", I don't think that is going to do the trick. I think I am still going to have these hurt feelings in my heart and relive them constantly. But I so desperately want to let them go and move on. I want to be able to say in that moment what my heart pleads with me to say. Then perhaps I won't have to deal with holding grudges.