Yesterday was an emotionally draining day. I cried on and off all day long. I said a couple of weeks ago that I was going to finally take the next step in our TTC journey if I didn't get pregnant this month. Well, it didn't happen this month, and I am taking it harder this time than any other time. I have been feeling like it's been time to move forward, but at the same time, I was still holding out hope that it was going to happen naturally. Who am I kidding--I still have hope that it's going to happen on its own, but it was heartbreaking for me to realize that I may have been fooling myself into thinking that there isn't a problem.
I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know that I am making a doctor's appointment next week. I need to feel like I am making some move in a positive direction, but to be honest, I am having mixed emotions about it. On one hand, I am happy that we are going to get to the bottom of it, but scared that they are going to find something wrong that can't be "fixed". Ugh--I need to stop and take a breath. I have to keep reminding myself that what is meant to be, will be. I need to hand all of this over to God.