Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Guilt

I've been feeling really guilty today.

Taylor's ear infections have been weighing on me. I feel like I should have been a better advocate for her, and should have pushed my pediatrician for an ENT referral a long time ago. Maybe we would have had her tubes in by now. Maybe she would be further along in her speech.

I could drown in all of the maybes and what ifs.

I should have trusted my instinct. But now we get to wait...

4 comments:

Bethany said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can and your girls' know this! Hang in there!!

Mommato3miracles said...

Oh I am so sorry you are second guessing yourself. They really drag their heals quite often to do tubes. I am a pediatric RN and we do tubes ALL THE TIME....the doctors typically don't want to do them until over a year, because the eustacian tubes straighten out, and then are expected they will drain better, thus leading to less infections....but sometimes that is not always the case.
Don't beat yourself up! You are gettin her taken care of and you are doing your absolute best, and that is MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!

Becky said...

Nothing I can say will make it any easier, except that I know you are doing your best, and that this, too, shall pass. I will say a prayer for you tonight!

Jaime said...

I said A LOT of What ifs and Maybe's for the past year with Macy as well. It's hard....

Don't second guess yourself girl. You did what you thought was right. Now you know you need to be pushy....that's what I learned...make it seem worse then it really is..that's what I had to do to get answers.

I am now PUSHY when it comes to doctors and such...sometimes I wish they would trust us moms more...
you know the gut feeling something isn't right...well guess what we are always right when it comes to the gut.
Don't beat yourself up...I do that all the time saying if only we knew sooner.
I just keep saying now we know and lets move on...I can't change the past...
LOVE YOU